Facing Up to Facebook: The Ups and Downs of Big Social Media

In more ways than one, I have to say thank you to Facebook.

Through Facebook, I’ve reconnected with people from elementary school, high school and college, whom I otherwise would not have had any contact with after all these years. I've also maintained contact with family members in different states, former coworkers and my current circle of friends.

I like observing how friends have changed or remained the same over the years by their photos, and the photos they share of themselves and their families. Birthday parties, excursions and private moments get their spotlight, the small details of our inner lives shown outward for all to see. I can find out if a friend’s daughter baked cookies with mom, or had a root canal at the dentist’s. I can discover the causes friends are taking on, their interests and their biases.

In that sense it’s also a quick way to scan the trends, to find out what people find interesting or valuable in their daily lives, what music, books, quotations or political causes they find relevant, amid all the chatter on and off the Internet.

On the other hand, there is a bit of a disconnect just reading about people second hand. I feel sometimes like a voyeur, especially when I have little regular contact with the people who I friended by phone, email or in person.

I learn of the passing of some friend’s fathers, the birth of their children, in other words life changing events, because of what they write on their Facebook pages, not because I heard of those events directly from the friends themselves. Sometimes there is no substitute for a private phone call or email.

That is one of the downsides of the technological age – to be at once connected yet totally disconnected with people.

Then there are the temptations to join all the cute sites that people send you – being their BFF, getting freebies and signing petitions. They are entertaining things to do but in most cases are marketing devices and mean more junk email!

There issues of personal privacy too, and you have to make sure you adjust your settings accordingly so that certain information about yourself is not being accessed by anyone in the world who knows how to Google your name. You may not want certain personal information about you available to the public. Social networking can quickly become a disaster if in the hands of the wrong people.

Without a doubt, Facebook has enormous power, mostly beneficial. Today I read about how the mayor of East Haven Connecticut donated a kidney to a constituent after reading his plea on his Facebook page. People are finding ways to network and connect with friends new and old.

But Facebook is not everything nor should it should be. Some Facebook junkies keep adding hundreds upon hundreds of friends (even random acquaintances) to their roster, and are addicted to updating their profiles, uploading photos and commenting on the status of friends one or more times a day.

Facebook does not mean the same thing to everyone, nor should it. As long as it’s taken in context, it can do as much or as little for your life and your social network as you want it to.

But here’s my two cents worth: If you want to friend me, at least know a few more facts about me than my neighbor and say hello once in a while, not only publicly but privately. We may have something interesting to say to each other -- just to each other.