My Little Princess: Watch out for the Kiss!

My daughter is coming into her own; she will turn 5 years old in just over a month. While she still has a high-pitched, adorable girlish voice that can melt butter, she is now a girl. And she's not a baby becoming a girl, but a girl becoming a young lady.

When I was around her age, at 6 or 7, I had just started to watch Disney princess movies; she has been at it for at least a year or two.

What's fascinates her most of all is the kiss, the signature ending of all Disney princess movies -- to show that love conquers all, and that a kiss from a prince can make everything better and everyone whole.

Don't get me wrong: the Disney princesses of late have been bolder, more independent and assertive. Chinese princess Mulan goes against the grain by disguising herself as a male soldier in her father's place, to serve the Chinese army against the advancing Huns. The latest princess, African-American Tiana of The Princess and the Frog, has dreams to start her own restaurant in the city of New Orleans. Yet no matter a princess's background or ethnic identity, the ultimate statement in the movie is the kiss with the handsome prince or chivalrous male.

This comes as no suprise, as romantic love is highly idealized in Disney movies, and Hollywood movies in general.

However, a kiss between a man and woman is making its impression on her young mind and heart. Whenever she sees a kissing scene on TV or at the movies, she blushes and covers her eyes, giggling and tittering. She asks her daddy to kiss her "on the lips" like a prince. She even approached me, tilting her head to kiss me on the lips as well. We respond as innocently as she requests, but it does make you consider how girls today grow up so quickly.

The thing is to keep it all in perspective. Even at this young age, it's a good idea to let my daughter know that the kiss is just one ingredient in a relationship, and happens when you are grown up, as in "over 21, when you are grown up and finish college'"! In a marriage or any partnership, you have to work as a team, divide and juggle household duties, and give and share in a relationship to make it work. She needs to know that a kiss in itself will not solve all your problems. This premise of a kiss solving all things, which has been engraved in the hearts of girls and young women, has lead to a lot of unrealistic expectations in marriages and relationships in general.

I have no qualms about a kiss in a Disney or any other movie per se, but it should be taken, and explained to a child, as part of a bigger picture and as part of general instruction about what to expect from others in life and in love.

In summation, a kiss is ok, but keep it real!