Tuesday, December 28, 2010

The Santa Secret


My kids are getting at the age where they are starting to catch on to the Santa secret. Especially my 6-year-old son Benjamin.

Every year our playgroup has its annual Christmas party at one of our houses and one of the dads dresses up like Santa. The costume is quite good, and this Santa actually convinces his followers that he commutes down the chimney, before thundering down the staircase with a giant sack of toys for the eager, wide-eyed children waiting below.

Last year Benji pulled me aside after the gift giving and said, "Mom, that's not really Santa Claus, it's Tulah's dad!" It was hard to deny the pressing truth. However, while we admitted that people do dress up as Santa Claus, we told him that the real Santa Claus only comes on Christmas Eve. He seemed to buy that, and still does as far as we can tell.

The hard part was having him keep hush about the Santa secret to the other children, who are his age and younger. My friend tried to bargain with Benjamin this year, admonishing him that Santa would not give him a gift if he spilled the beans. It worked to a point, but he did admit that he "tried to tell Tulah that Santa is her dad, but she wouldn't believe me. She said she knows her dad's eyes anywhere."

My 5-year old Juliana is seemingly more gullible, more naive about these things. Benji told her the Santa secret, which she relished, saying in her high-pitched singsong voice, "I know the Santa secret!"


Interestingly, Benji and Juliana surprised me. One night before Christmas as we drove home in cold twilight, Benji (the skeptic, the big brain) proudly announced, "I hear Santa's bells! I see Santa's sleigh, up there in the sky, look!" Juliana, as expected, oohed and ahhed at his proclamation.

When Benji and Julie raced to the tree on Christmas day, I was not sure what their reaction might be. They both jumped for joy of course, tearing off the wrapping paper like lions ripping apart their meat. "Santa came! Santa came!" they both cried in unison. Then there was the kicker. Juliana pulled me aside and said, "Mommy, I'm so glad Santa came. He even used our wrapping paper!"

So far, the Santa secret has only been partially revealed. Let's see what happense next year. For now the Santa magic still remains.

Help, I'm Leaking!


I'm 21 weeks pregnant and now I'm in the midst of the Mother of All Head Colds. Sick as a dog, body aches and pains, and what's worse coughing and sneezing my head off.
That only means one thing.

DEPENDS!

I'm not quite there yet -- I thought this wasn't supposed to happen well into old age. But whenever I sneeze or cough, which is like, all the time, the flood gates burst open. Stayfree Maxipads don't always help either. Sometimes they're as useless as coffee filters.

Bladder control, hey, what's that?! Apparently this leakage is quite common in pregnant women, especially induced through sneezing, coughing or bouts of hysterical laughter.

Oh boy. Now I'm inspired to write a rap song about it:

Help! I'm Leaking (or I'm Not an Old Lady, This is Driving Me Crazy)

Whenever I'm coughin' or a sneezin'
You know it means I'm leakin'

Refrain: I'm not an old lady, this is drivin' me crazy.
This is supposed to happen at 80, not to a nice young lady!

Get me a diaper, or a windshield wiper
After you have babies, your bladder leaks like gravy

Refrain: I'm not an old lady, this is drivin' me crazy.
This is supposed to happen at 80, not to a nice young lady!

Stop the flood from spillin'
So this girl can be chillin

Refrain: I'm not an old lady, this is drivin' me crazy.
This is supposed to happen at 80, not to a nice young lady!

I want to stop feeling like a freak
And more like fresh meat!

Refrain: I'm not an old lady, this is drivin' me crazy.
This is supposed to happen at 80, not to a nice young lady


Such is the life of a pregnant woman. More to come...stay tuned!

Wednesday, December 1, 2010

Halfway along...are we there yet?


I finally reached my halfway point in the pregnancy. 20 weeks...yippee!
But does this mean I have to wait ALMOST FOUR MORE MONTHS till this is over?
My back is killing me, I can't sleep at night -- tossing and turning trying to get a decent position. It's hard to sit at an office chair for more than 20 minutes without feeling the baby pressing on my body, challenging my equilibrium and my back.
If I eat too much I expand like a balloon, and then feel so full I could burst. Can't complain too much about that, though, it's like a stomach valve -- natural weight control! I think I gained the most weight in the first trimester -- thank God for small things.
The cravings have subsided, but I still get pretty nauseous and queasy at times, even while sleeping.
Give me the strength!

Tuesday, September 28, 2010

Almost 13 Weeks: Hey, My Body's Changing


Yay! I reached the end of my first trimester.

I've been on the other side (the side of the second trimester) for almost a full week now.

The moodiness has subsided, but my body is going through lots of changes.
By 5 or 6 o'clock the idea of food (besides home-baked bread) makes me feel like puking. My stomach gets upset easily. I had a craving for milk late this afternoon, so I downed a glass of skim milk from the fridge. After I dropped off the kids at Tae Kwon Do, I stopped at a cafe to get some Nestle chocolate milk. I gulped that bottle down in record time.

Then my stomach started feeling weird. The noises. The cramping. Slowly but surely I was becoming Charlotte in the first Sex and the City movie, after accidentally sipping the shower water at the resort in Mexico.

About an hour later, I picked up the kids from Tae Kwon Do. Right outside the studio, I got a phone call from a girlfriend. We were gabbing about the pregnancy, and I told her about the morning sickness, the testing, and the baby's sex ("Yay! Another girl!" she cheered) among other things. I was careful to make sure no flatulence escaped in the presence of passersby, then let it rip when a particularly loud truck was making its way to the Jackie Robinson Expressway.

After we said goodbye, I raced to the basement of the martial arts studio, to that heavenly toilet god. I won't go into too much detail, but that milk beat the crap out of my system.


Then there's my body shape that keeps shifting more rapidly than playdough. On Friday night, two fun girlfriends took me out for dinner in Manhattan as a belated birthday present. I had my hair blowed out at the salon, put on my new $170 worth of Mac makeup and slipped on the funky little pregnancy skirt I got from Pea in the Pod maternity (overpriced but cuter than cute). I put on the pregnancy slimmer shorts and man, I did not look pregnant at all. My stomach was as flat as a board. I had to tell them I was pregnant, because even though I hinted at it a few weeks before, they wouldn't dare ask me because I didn't look a lick pregnant in my getup.
I was great at dinner, and even had half a glass of red wine. After dinner they took one look at my stomach and agreed, unanimously, "Yeah, you're pregnant."

We headed over to the CRT Lounge for 80s night and danced up a bit of a storm to favorites like the Human League's "Don't You Want Me," Young MC's "Bust a Move," Culture Club's "I'll Tumble For You," among many others. By 11 o'clock I was beat and had to sit down. That little baby was pressing on my stomach and making me breathless. Even my weak Shirley Temple couldn't get me grooving much longer.

Look, I'm glad I can groove and keep up with my normal routine and my fun adventures, after that whirlwind of a first trimester. But these times, my friends, they are a changin'!

Friday, September 17, 2010

Pregnant again? For the third time? You must be shitting me!


The news was confirmed.
Holy crap, I'm pregnant!
This wasn't supposed to happen.
I'm 41, I haven't used any birth control since my daughter was born over 5 years ago and nothing ever happened.
But it happened.
Now.
When I visited my doctor, he asked, "Was it planned?"
"No, not at all," I replied.
"Well it was planned if you didn't use any birth control," he smartly retorted.

Now here I am, 10 1/2 weeks into the pregnancy, with a 1.5 inch fetus dancing happily in my uterus while I battle nausea and bloating.
There are the cravings. The garlic knots bathed in olive oil from the local pizzeria under the subway. Pizza, Grandfather's style. Bread -- hunky chunky rolls. Dark chocolate. Organic milk.
Even my baby bump is starting to show.
Some of my friends and family know, some know nothing, intentionally so.
At 41, I'm electing to do the testing for Down's syndrome, mental retardation and for about 20 Jewish Azkanazi diseases that no one has ever heard of, like maple syrup disease (What the heck is that? Do you get that when you eat too many pancakes?!) To top it off, I'm a carrier of a genetic disorder that killed my brother at 20 years old. My children were lucky to be born healthy and disease free, but I remember what it was like being tested when they were still blips on the sonograms, waiting up to two painstaking weeks to get the results.

My husband and I fight constantly, I am so moody that I cry hysterically at least once a day for at least one hour, and I don't know what the hell I got myself into.
I want the child-to-be to be healthy, that's for sure, but I am scared shitless. Our marriage and finances are on the seesaw constantly, and I don't know how I'll handle having a personal life and a career with an extra kid around.

Somehow I'll get through. Whatever doesn't kill me has to make me stronger. Something like that.

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

Something About You: Level 42 in Concert 7/23/10


Note: This review is long overdue, but for what it's worth, here are my impressions of my 3rd 80s concert of the summer of 2010...

"Is everybody having a good time?" shouted Level 42 bassist and lead vocalist Mark King into the crowd.
"I thought we established that already," quipped a friend, apparently referring to King's intention to get the already energized crowd well, more energized.

The British band Level 42 has garnered a reputation among most Americans based almost exclusively on the top-40 hits of the 1980s, "Something About You" and "Lessons in Love." However, those who turned out on Friday, July 23rd for their 30th anniversary show at Nokia's Times Square Theater were well aware of how much the group has accomplished above and beyond those hits. While no new material was introduced, what was played by the talented jazz and pop group was expertly executed, making for a fun show.

Besides King, the only other band member from the original lineup is Mike Lindup on keyboards and vocals, who actually inspired a few whistles from some very vocal dancing girls in the audience. The band's music inspires the crowd for the expert musicianship it clearly showcases, along with the artful blend of jazz, funk, soul and '80s pop. Level 42 showed they could get equally hot and funky with numbers like "The Sun Goes Down" ("Livin it Up"), and also smooth, tender and wistful, as in songs like "It's Over." There were moments in the show when I felt like I was at the Montreal Jazz Festival, riding the wave of smooth jazz at its pinnacle, and at other moments I felt like I was being lulled to the pop elysium of the band Chicago.

Overall, it was upbeat show and a good time, in an air-conditioned theater with great acoustics and a smattering of folding chairs at the back to anyone too lazy to stand up and dance (and lots of dancers there were, me included!). Other memorable tunes for the evening were "Running in the Family" and "Kansas City Milkman." The show was a bit short (only 90 minutes) but expertly realized. The guys returned for an encore of "Heaven in My Hands" and "The Chinese Way," which did not deliver as much punch as the other material, but it was an encore well received in any case. As King said in his concert-closing statement, "We've got to come back!"

Wednesday, July 14, 2010

Take Me I'm Yours: Squeeze Returns to Radio City



It seems I've been seeing more '80s bands live than when I was actually living in the '80s! Not quite, but one of the best British bands, or for that matter power pop bands to hail from the '70s through the '90s is Squeeze.

On Tuesday, July 13th at Radio City Music Hall, I had the pleasure and privilege to see the dynamic duo of Chris Difford and Glenn Tillbrook and their band. It was like being magically transported back to the hopeful decade when lyricists and musicians penned songs with cheerful guitar riffs, soulful crooning and lyrics about everyday life -- the folly of youth and falling in love, chip shops and holidays. When they opened with "Black Coffee in Bed," I knew it was going to be good.

They performed lots of their well-known songs, infectious not only in lyrics but in rhythm and memorable, heart-tugging guitar licks, diverting a bit for some jazzy cabaret. "Black Coffee in Bed" was followed by some of the most joyful tunes in pop history, which for some reason were never as popular in America as in their native Britain. They churned out -- to the delight of the fans (yes, we sang along!)-- "Take Me I'm Yours," "Pulling Mussels from the Shell," "Goodbye Girl," "Annie Get Your Gun," "Tempted," "Is That Love?" "If I Didn't Love You" and "Cool for Cats," among others.

One of the joys of pop music is the ability of its songwriters and musicians to catch the listener in a delicious rhyme or clever turn of phrase with perfect musical accompaniment. That's Difford and Tillbrook for you. In "Up the Junction," Tillbrook sings, "I never thought it would happen/With me and the girl from Clapham." In "Cool for Cats," catchy British slang and Difford's songwriting rule again with "I fancy this, I fancy that/I wanna be so flash/I give a little muscle/And I spend a little cash./But all I get is bitter and a nasty little rash."

You also have to admit that with a band like Squeeze, even though Difford and Tillbrook are in their 50s, they are still, well--let's say--cute. The boyishly charming Difford quipped while temporarily sporting thick black-rimmed glasses on his head, "I'll put my glasses back on now for the girls who like me in glasses." Bassist John Bentley wore a fedora hat and dark sports jacket, which brought back memories of English bands like the Jam who wore their threads just so.

Openers Cheap Trick were a bit more tired than true...their line of defense was "We got big electric guitars and amps and we're gonna use 'em!" (and we havent changed at all in 35 years!) Although influential in their time, after a while it seemed they were just going through the motions, bombastically yet perfunctorily. "I Want You to Want Me" sounded like whiny begging. Still, they wooed their aging fans with a few catchy numbers like "Surrender" and "Dream Police," the only songs that to me had any melody worth counteracting the deafening hard rock of their electric beasts.

Was there a generation gap at this gig? You had fans of all ages, though on the one hand, there were parents in their 50s and 60s with preteen kids (some of whom were present at the show), and on the other hand, singles or married couples in their 30s and 40s. At the close of the show, holding up an 8-track and tossing a record album into the crowd, Rick Nielsen reminded us just how many years ago Cheap Trick did their schtick. Interestingly, in the ladies room after the concert, a late 30-something girl shouted over the stall, referring to Squeeze, "All the songs they didn't play I can listen to on my ipod on the train ride home."

Wednesday, July 7, 2010

Cosmic Thing: B52s Live in NYC


"It came from Planet Clare." "You're living in your own Private Idaho. "It was a rock lobster."

If you know the lyrics, you remember the songs and the band. The B52s, one of the grooviest, shake-your-bootiest bands of the '80s landed in NYC's Highline Ballroom on Tuesday, July 6th to a sold out show. Gay or straight, in their 20s though 60s, the sweat-coated fans bounced, jumped and shimmied elbow to elbow, to a band whose vocals and energetic, tongue-in-cheek style really hasn't changed much since they first hit the new wave scene in the '70s and more forcefully in the '80s.

It was the first '80s "nostalgia" show I think I'd ever been to. The last time I'd seen a band perform from that era was in the '90s, which were not that far off from the original decade.


Now that a good 25 years have elapsed, you can see a trace of aging in the faces of the band members and their fans, but that's it. Looks aside, the cool harmonizing vocals of Kate Pierson and Cindy Wilson and the campy singing and posturing that is Fred Schneider were still very much in tact. The band sounded exactly the same as they did when they first played, and on their original recordings.

By starting off their show with "Wig," the B52s pointed and postured to their fans with a song that proved that they are a group about, well -- fun! The female vocalists in the band, with heavy but tasteful makeup and colorful garb from the '60s, didn't let anyone forget that!

They performed lots of hits, notably "Planet Clare," "Love Shack," "Strobe Light," and the final encore, "Rock Lobster" to a highly enthusiastic crowd. Although it was about 90 degrees inside and outside the venue, it didn't deter the fans from showing their excitment through dancing, rocking and shaking!

One of the reasons I think the B52s still have energy to wow a crowd is because they are not just rehashing their hits from days past, but doing new work. "Funplex," which in 2008 was their first album released in 16 years, retains the group's energy and style, with more updated lyrics relevant to our times.

In this regard, the B52s score points with their incisive lyrics about American culture, an ingredient of a message stirred into the fun stew. In the title track from "Funplex" Schneider sings, "Shoppin' for a new distraction/ I'm a pleasure seeker/Lookin' for some platinum action," and "Faster pussycat, thrill, thrill/I'm at the mall on a diet pill"

The B52s was a show worth sweating for; I look forward to their new projects and future concert dates.

Sunday, June 6, 2010

10 Things I Love About Chitty Chitty Bang Bang


I don't know how many children under 6 have watched the movie Chitty Chitty Bang Bang, or for that matter how many adults under 40 have watched the 1968 British classic.

However, I do know that even though the move is a bit lengthy and dated in places, it stands as one of my favorite family movies of all time.

I bought the movie on DVD about 2 years ago when my son turned 4. I knew he loved transporation and cars, and I vaguely remembered the movie from my childhood. I was looking for something more sophisticated than Dora, Diego and the typical early childhood cartoons, a movie that an adult could enjoy as much as a child.

A few weeks ago, we decided to have a family movie night for no particular reason. It was a Saturday night, and for one weekend, we didn't have any plans -- no birthday parties, no visits, no excursions away from home. My husband Alex prepared some crispy Mexican fried snacks, I brought out the tortilla chips and the hot sauce, and we turned off the lights and kicked our feet up on the sectional sofa.

After we watched the movie, and I sent the kids off to bed, I compiled 10 reasons why Chitty Chitty Bang Bang is one of my top 10 favorite family movies:

1. The British accents -- Words like "presumptious" and "posh" roll off the tongue like honey on a long spoon. When Jeremy or Jemimah say "Daddy" or "Truly" in a British accent, it is quite simply irresistible.

2. Manners and respect in everyday life - In English society, especially in the 1950s and 1960s, it was considered decent for most everyday people to use polite language like "pardon me" and "thank you, sir." Perhaps it's a bit dated for American society, but it's a refreshing change from the street language in our neighborhood urban park!

3. Using your imagination to overcome any hardship placed before you -- The father, Caractacus Potts, played by Dick Van Dyke, is a widowed inventor who uses his wit, brains and imagination to concoct his unique contraptions, all the while embracing non-traditional values when it comes to the education of his children. He advocates always speaking one's mind and following one's dreams and ideas, despite the obstacles.
He becomes a hero, leading the child prisoners to revolt in overthrowing the pompous, self-indulgent Baron Bomburst of Vulgaria.

4. The triumph of the spirit of childhood and the imagination over traditional social mores and propriety -- Basically Caractacus Potts is a child at heart, and through love, play and enthusiasm always helps to make everything turn out all right.

5. The humor -- The Vulgarian spies make such jokes as, "My name starts with x as in aches and pains." There's lots of slapstick comedy, plays on words, witty dialoge and humorous songs. Benny Hill even makes an appearance.

6. The perfection of the genre of movie musical -- The mark of success of a movie musical is the ease with which characters can break out into song and dance at opportune moments. "Chitty Chitty Bang Bang" has so many memorable songs -- besides the theme song, there's "You Two," "Truly Scrumptious," and "Toot Sweets."

7. The belief that love conquers all and good wins out over evil with imagination, faith and determination. The lyrics from the song "Hushabye Mountain" say it all. The song is sung to the Jeremiah and Jeremy Potts, as well as to the children imprisoned in a cave in Vulgaria.

A gentle breeze from Hushabye Mountain
Softly blows o'er lullaby bay.
It fills the sails of boats that are waiting--
Waiting to sail your worries away.

8. Setting the trend for movies to come -- The movie is referenced in the animated moive "Santa Claus is Coming to Town," in which a Nazi-like character, similar to the Baron's candy-luring, carriage-toting henchman, takes all the toys away because he despises children so. The last scene in the movie, in which Caractacus Potts and Truly Scrumptious fly away in the beloved auto Chitty Chitty Bang Bang without the wings, is referred to in the final scene in the movie "Grease", when the Thunderbird flies away with Danny and Sandy waving goodbye.

9. Dick Van Dyke -- He's obviously one of the greatest comic and musical actors of all time. Period.

10. Teamwork -- Caractacus, Truly and the children work together as a team to champion freedom in Vulgaria and assist in good overcoming evil.

"Chitty Chitty Bang Bang." A classic. If it's your first time or not -- watch it, and enjoy!

Monday, May 31, 2010

Play is Not a Four Letter Word

As summer is almost here, I feel more playful than usual. I've been bouncing basketballs and serving and hitting tennis balls with my kids in the backyard. Yesterday we set up our gas BBQ grill and for the first time this year, ate dinner outdoors.

For as long as I can remember, summer has always signaled thoughts of family and school vacation, and a general switching of gears from work and routine to unabashed fun.

As an early childhood professional and owner of a daycare/preschool, I know that play is a significant activity and experience for children. It is not mindless, empty time, but a way for kids to learn and discover how the world works, communicate with others, and to create new realities through their exploration.

But in the adult world, play is not always taken seriously, or thought of as something children do, or that you do with your kids.

As a parent of young children, I know parents that have so many activities and experiences planned for their 6 and under set, it could make your head spin. They don't want their children to miss out on anything, to not experience fun and play of every imaginable kind.

Part of the reason is because that type of fun is not part of their worlds anymore. There is work to do, bills to pay, kids to drive to school, dinners to prepare and laundry to wash. If they cannot have that much fun themselves - save for a dinner out or shopping trip or yearly vacation -- why not live vicariously through the kids?

There are the music classes, the private instrumental lessons, the drama clasees, soccer instruction, Little League, swimming, rollerblading, painting, gymnastics, kid music concerts, gallery tours, and don't forget the organized playdates.

While every parent wants to enrich their child's lives and give them experiences they can hold on to for the rest of their lives, to inspire them, and to uncover the next Mozart or Celine Dion, it is all a bit much.

I used to be that kind of parent, filling the calendar until I was dizzy. As time went on, my kids and I were getting exhausted, frustrated and crunched to the limit timewise. My son is 6, and even when we went to swimming lessons this past weekend, my son asked, "Can we just come back to this pool sometimes just to have fun and play?" It sounded like a reasonable request, and we are seriously thinking to join the pool as a family.

I have significantly cut back on my children's activities, and if they find they do not like a certain activity, I am not going to force them to continue it. All I ask is that they finish out the semester or year, and we can try another activity that organically develops out of their interests.

My almost-5-year-old daughter took ballet and tap for one year (the class finishes in June) because she loves to dance, but she has asked me recently if she can try something new like gymnastics. I'm all for that. Nothing worse that a frustrated dancer in ballet slippers hating mommy for enrolling her in a class or activity she doesn't really like, but should like. All we have to do is put on the radio or a random song, and she's bopping to the beat, bouncing and twisting, choreographing her own moves. If dance is something she loves, the right outlet will come, and instruction will surely follow. She is only turning 5, after all!

I also want to experience the joy of play, and not expect to enjoy it only through my kids. I have a busy schedule but it should never be so busy that I can't make some time to play, as an adult. Yes, I also play more with the kids outdoors in this warm season, and have more family play time -- biking together, going to the beach together, playing ball together -- but I want to have fun on my own too. I want to bike on a more regular basis. I would like to attend more summer concerts and theater productions, do more dancing, have a picnic outdoors, even take a course this summer in the city -- could be cooking, stand up comedy or even learning to play an instrument or a new language.

The main thing is that whatever activity I choose is done in the spirit of play and personal enrichment. By learning to play as an adult, I can be a great role model to my kids and to teach them an important lesson -- that play is not a four letter word, but an essential ingredient in enjoying life!

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

My Little Princess: Watch out for the Kiss!



My daughter is coming into her own; she will turn 5 years old in just over a month. While she still has a high-pitched, adorable girlish voice that can melt butter, she is now a girl. And she's not a baby becoming a girl, but a girl becoming a young lady.

When I was around her age, at 6 or 7, I had just started to watch Disney princess movies; she has been at it for at least a year or two.

What's fascinates her most of all is the kiss, the signature ending of all Disney princess movies -- to show that love conquers all, and that a kiss from a prince can make everything better and everyone whole.

Don't get me wrong: the Disney princesses of late have been bolder, more independent and assertive. Chinese princess Mulan goes against the grain by disguising herself as a male soldier in her father's place, to serve the Chinese army against the advancing Huns. The latest princess, African-American Tiana of The Princess and the Frog, has dreams to start her own restaurant in the city of New Orleans. Yet no matter a princess's background or ethnic identity, the ultimate statement in the movie is the kiss with the handsome prince or chivalrous male.

This comes as no suprise, as romantic love is highly idealized in Disney movies, and Hollywood movies in general.

However, a kiss between a man and woman is making its impression on her young mind and heart. Whenever she sees a kissing scene on TV or at the movies, she blushes and covers her eyes, giggling and tittering. She asks her daddy to kiss her "on the lips" like a prince. She even approached me, tilting her head to kiss me on the lips as well. We respond as innocently as she requests, but it does make you consider how girls today grow up so quickly.

The thing is to keep it all in perspective. Even at this young age, it's a good idea to let my daughter know that the kiss is just one ingredient in a relationship, and happens when you are grown up, as in "over 21, when you are grown up and finish college'"! In a marriage or any partnership, you have to work as a team, divide and juggle household duties, and give and share in a relationship to make it work. She needs to know that a kiss in itself will not solve all your problems. This premise of a kiss solving all things, which has been engraved in the hearts of girls and young women, has lead to a lot of unrealistic expectations in marriages and relationships in general.

I have no qualms about a kiss in a Disney or any other movie per se, but it should be taken, and explained to a child, as part of a bigger picture and as part of general instruction about what to expect from others in life and in love.

In summation, a kiss is ok, but keep it real!

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Snack on Demand



They are my heroines. The moms who produce instantly for their hungry little ones snack on demand. They are my David Copperfields, magicians pulling rabbits out of hats, slipping coins between sleeves with ease. Instead, in less than a moment's notice, they pull out savory treats and carefully wrapped goodies; bags and containers of fruits, cookies and other delights to feed an army.

You know the type and you know the scenario. You're away from home and could be anywhere -- a park, the theater, a museum -- and there's not even a snack machine in sight and you're down to your last ounce of Poland Spring, jutting out of your pocketbook like a trophy.

Then it starts -- the chant, the familiar refrain --better than Tibetan monks-- "I'm hungry, I'm thirsty, my tummy hurts." You assure them there's food at home or in the restaurant you're planning to take them to for lunch, and even offer a sip of your water till you get home but it just doesn't cut it. You're losing patience with them and they've lost all patience with you. They're repeating themselves a bit louder, more forcefully this time. Then comes the whining. The high-pitched shrill question: "Whyyyyyy? I want to eat NOW!"



You rifle through your purse and in between the wallet, tissues, hand sanitizer, bruch, comb, baby wipes, receipts and loose change for some morsel, a stick of gum even, you could give the little ones. Is it possible you left the granola bars on the kitchen counter before you went out the door with the keys?

You glance over to the park bench or theater seats or makeshift table and your jaw drops open with what you're about to behold.


There to your side are moms opening mini-Tupperware containers with snap-on lids brimming with pre-cut strawberries and grape halves. There's hummus and octagon-shaped gorgonzola crackers. Peanut butter and jelly sandwiches cut into heart shapes. These are not thrown together munchies, but perfect packages, like beautiful Bento boxes. Don't forget the tidy cartons of Goldfish crackers, fruit rollups, little boxes of Cheerios and animal crackers.
Then there are the momma wizards who can whip out lollipops, chocolates and candy cups with dancing candy pellets that twirl and play music with flashing lights, faster than you can say tantrum. And if they bring along candy or food they always have enough to offer your child and half the kids in sight, which can be a dozen or more! These moms are magical snack wizards -- look out Harry Potter!

These are not hasty, roughly thrown together snacks like I prepare: grapes thrown in plastic baggies. A few raisin boxes. Foodbars dumped in my purse at a moment's notice that get smushy and all crumbly when you're ready to eat them. That doesn't cut it. That means you're lazy, sloppy, a bad mother.

I want to be a mom who can produce snack on demand. I want to be a pharmacist of calm. An anticipator of antsiness. A resourceful survivor for my own sanity. Entrepreneur of an array of tricks. I want to be a masterful food psychologist with a forumla that always works.

Maybe I'll never reach those heights, but I can get a bit better organized and make my snacks more creative and organized, and maybe prepare snacks for my kids at least the night before.

You thought the story of Jesus and the loaves and fishes was a miracle -- try the moms with the snacks!

Wednesday, May 12, 2010

Springing into Action with Exercise: Starting with Small Steps

It’s definitely spring now, and this spring for me has been a time of renewal and change. It’s been a time of new attitudes, new friends, setting goals and making commitments to do the things that I really enjoy and value. Making time for hobbies I put on the back burner. Not making excuses, but creating a path to do the things I once thought I would never achieve.

One of the goals I have committed to is exercising with aerobics and toning at least 20-30 minutes consistently. The key word here is consistently. Too many times I started an exercise program and did it religiously for days or even weeks, then slid off the wagon for months at a time.

My aspirations were a bit lofty about 2 months ago, when I hired a personal trainer to do one session at my home. She is a multi-time marathon runner and former Manhattan athletic club director, and I met her at a mom dinner and lecture series. She outfitted me with the gear and exercises needed for interval training.I had complete confidence in her abilities, but having not exercised for months previous to her visit, I was panting to keep up with the exercises and felt quite honestly, a bit overwhelmed.

I abandoned the trainer’s exercises for a while, then took to jumping and dancing to high-energy dance and techno music as I put away laundry in my bedroom every weekend. I still do that; it’s fun and highly recommended!

Then one day last week, I was organizing my DVDs, when I came across a Denise Austin exercise DVD that came with an exercise ball. I purchased it last year.

Now I LOVE Denise Austin. She was one of the pioneers in the fitness exercise video/DVD revolution and in my 20s, I used to do her 15-20 minute workouts when she had a program on the Lifetime network.

I decided to give her another try.

But before I put on the DVD, I started doing some warm-up exercises.

My 6-year-old son saw me, and started getting in on it. He does push ups and sit ups in Tae Kwon Do, and he proceeded to teach me how to do leg locks so we could do sit ups together.

I pushed myself to do 20. “You can do it,” he encouraged. He showed me how he does push ups the full length way. Not quite ready for the real deal, I grabbed my son’s little Serenity Prayer pillow and squeezed my knees together on it to cushion my knees from the hardwood floor. I proceeded to do modified pushups. I was struggling just to do 5, but I made it to 10.

“Yes you did it!” he cheered as I felt like collapsing on the floor.

“Next time I’ll do more,” I said, hopeful. “After I get used to 10, then I can do 20.”

“Or 30, or 40, or….” He counted all the way up to 100 and smiled, lying down on his pillow before going to bed.

Right after that, I put on the Denise Austin DVD in my bedroom. I mentally committed to 30 minutes. After a water break and going downstairs to the living room to get my free 3 pound weights, it was more like 20. But I pushed myself, I had a good sweat and I did what I set out to do. And it really wasn’t that bad. (Well, there was one part when you had to lean over the ball (which was supposed to be slightly deflated for this activity, but this one was full to capacity and bursting to the seams) and do push ups. I felt like an apple was in my chest and I remembered reading that lowering your heart below your head when leaning forward is not recommended.) So I skipped that one, but did everything else exactly as instructed.

“You can do it!” Denise Austin cheered with her perky voice and her mile-wide smile. “Just one more, come on,” she said, and when she says just one more she means it. Or a couple more.

There’s always the reward/incentive to her motivation, too. “You want sexy shapely arms,” she reminds you. “You want to wear that backless dress this summer don’t you?!” she chirps. Clearly a rhetorical question, and also a constant reminder of the goal of exercise which is to feel and look great.

I did 20 minutes of her exercise routine the one time last week, and I intend to up the ante to two times this week.

Sometimes the answer is keep it simple. Quite simply, I do what works for me, over and over on regular basis. As the famous Chinese proverb goes, the journey of a thousand miles begins with a single step.

Tuesday, April 27, 2010

Facing Up to Facebook: The Ups and Downs of Big Social Media



In more ways than one, I have to say thank you to Facebook.

Through Facebook, I’ve reconnected with people from elementary school, high school and college, whom I otherwise would not have had any contact with after all these years. I've also maintained contact with family members in different states, former coworkers and my current circle of friends.

I like observing how friends have changed or remained the same over the years by their photos, and the photos they share of themselves and their families. Birthday parties, excursions and private moments get their spotlight, the small details of our inner lives shown outward for all to see. I can find out if a friend’s daughter baked cookies with mom, or had a root canal at the dentist’s. I can discover the causes friends are taking on, their interests and their biases.

In that sense it’s also a quick way to scan the trends, to find out what people find interesting or valuable in their daily lives, what music, books, quotations or political causes they find relevant, amid all the chatter on and off the Internet.

On the other hand, there is a bit of a disconnect just reading about people second hand. I feel sometimes like a voyeur, especially when I have little regular contact with the people who I friended by phone, email or in person.

I learn of the passing of some friend’s fathers, the birth of their children, in other words life changing events, because of what they write on their Facebook pages, not because I heard of those events directly from the friends themselves. Sometimes there is no substitute for a private phone call or email.

That is one of the downsides of the technological age – to be at once connected yet totally disconnected with people.

Then there are the temptations to join all the cute sites that people send you – being their BFF, getting freebies and signing petitions. They are entertaining things to do but in most cases are marketing devices and mean more junk email!

There issues of personal privacy too, and you have to make sure you adjust your settings accordingly so that certain information about yourself is not being accessed by anyone in the world who knows how to Google your name. You may not want certain personal information about you available to the public. Social networking can quickly become a disaster if in the hands of the wrong people.

Without a doubt, Facebook has enormous power, mostly beneficial. Today I read about how the mayor of East Haven Connecticut donated a kidney to a constituent after reading his plea on his Facebook page. People are finding ways to network and connect with friends new and old.

But Facebook is not everything nor should it should be. Some Facebook junkies keep adding hundreds upon hundreds of friends (even random acquaintances) to their roster, and are addicted to updating their profiles, uploading photos and commenting on the status of friends one or more times a day.

Facebook does not mean the same thing to everyone, nor should it. As long as it’s taken in context, it can do as much or as little for your life and your social network as you want it to.

But here’s my two cents worth: If you want to friend me, at least know a few more facts about me than my neighbor and say hello once in a while, not only publicly but privately. We may have something interesting to say to each other -- just to each other.

Tuesday, April 20, 2010

Everybody Have Fun: Remembering '80s Pop




If you were born from the late 1960s through the mid-1970s, you probably spent your formative pre-teen, teenage and/or early college years with 80s pop. It reflected the feeling of boundless optimism that characterized the decade. American consumerism was at its peak, Ronald Reagan said it was morning in America, and pop music was bright, cheerful, colorful, and yes, fun! As the generation of ‘80s fans now approaches or reaches the 40-year-old mark, there are revivals of ‘80s music everywhere – on Internet radio, regular radio and in clubs.

It was the music most dear and near to my heart. It was the music I listened to on LPs and cassettes (no, not 8-tracks, I am not that old(!), although they weren’t far behind me). I wanted my MTV, and I heard my favorite hits on my Walkman as I traveled around NYC and London. Silver pants, big hair, keyboard and synthesizers were all the rage. Computers, cellphones, VCRs, CDs, and cable were our ‘big’ technologies.

Everybody Have Fun Tonight” by the British band Wang Chung." should be the anthem of the 80s:

So if you're feeling low
Turn up your radio
The words we use are strong
They make reality
But now the music's on
Oh baby dance with me yeah.



It’s hard to find people these days having pure unadulterated fun, bouncing, bopping and cheering. I used to attend concerts at classic NYC venues like Danceteria, Pyramid Club, CBGBs and the Ritz. Everybody jumped so hard that the floor around the stage would shake and I would have a sensation that it might cave in at any moment. I stepped to the perimeter, happier to be at the edge of the chaos than in the center of it. My ears would ring well into the night from the music blaring from the speakers, but it was all worth it.

I remember when the first record store opened in our sleepy Queens neighborhood. It was when the can of worms known as 80s music was unleashed! I was 13 or 14, and I was lured in by my friend, whose parents owned a dollhouse store down the street. When I first walked in the store, I was wowed by the neon lights, the faint smell of pot lingering from the back room, the stacks and stacks of newly cut records, the pungent vinyl wrappers wafting off the album covers.

We had learned about all these bands from the newly-created MTV. From a TV hanging in a corner of the shop, we watched the Bangles’ new video, and we were hooked. At each others’ houses my friends and I would watch all the great new bands: The Police. Squeeze. Nina Hagen. Madness crooned about “Our House.” Culture Club asked “Do You Really Want Me?” Nina and her 99 Luft balloons flew in our imaginations, Bananarama promised a cool, cool summer, and David Bowie taught us about “Modern Love.” Duran Duran were hungry like the wolf, Toni Basil sported her peppy cheerleading clothes and sang “Mickey!” If it was American it was cool, but if it was British or European it was cooler than cool..it was even hip!

The 80s were all about reinvention. A working class guy from England could grab a guitar and become a pop star. Someone like Boy George could give himself a stage name and transform himself from a regular guy into a colorful, extraordinary queen. Michael Jackson and Madonna were iconic presences who reinvented themselves multiple times over. They proved that just by changing your clothes, your makeup and your outward persona, you could recreate reality into a highly charged, colorful fantasy world. There was the Michael Jackson of the sparkly silver glove doing Billy Jean, then the Thriller video Michael Jackson, the momentously charged zombies choreographed in perfect funky sync. There was the Madonna of Lucky Star, the icon of East Village trendiness, followed by the Material Girl and the Virgin. There were so many personas up her sleeve, you could never figure out what was next.

I too could reinvent myself. My brother, who suffered from a chronic, life-threatening illness, was worsening, his muscles deteriorating and forcing him to become wheelchair- bound. My parents filled their time with hours of TV to hide the despair and the helplessness they must have felt. But I could sport a pink Cleopatra wig, wear a tight green fluorescent mini skirt, black eye makeup and black nail polish, and I could imagine myself to be anything I wanted to be. I slinked through the clubs after dark, trying to pass for 18. One time after school I got a buzz cut at the Astor Place Barber shop near Cooper Union, and a few months later when my hair grew in, my best friend and I got our hair dyed purple at a little incense and jewelry shop on St. Marks Place staffed by two aging Goths.

The ‘80s are over, and '80s music can even be heard these days on oldies stations, but to me the music always sounds fresh, vibrant and innovative. The music of the '80s will always be special to me, and even today, as I listen to '80s music on the radio or on YouTube, I draw on its boppy, perky outlook as I try to adapt a positive frame of mind in all areas of my life.

According to a Pepsi Optimism Project survey conducted in 2008, “Children of the ‘80s and ‘90s inherently feel a strong sense of optimism in the future and their ability to shape it,” said Lisa Orrell, generation relations expert and author of Millienials Incorporated: “This age group feels refreshingly unencumbered by history or tradition, a feeling that they can accomplish anything they resolve to achieve.”

I’m an '80s music child and I know it, so why not turn up the volume? Join in on the fun. Set a course for achievement and fun right here, right now. As former Go-Gos lead singer Belinda Carsisle sang it, "Ooh baby do you know what that's worth? Ooh, heaven is a place on earth."